Almost all that complicated whatsoever. I will tell you this from both professional and personal experience, that what men want in relationships is fairly fundamental. Hint: It isn’t about getting a “trophy” partner or anyone to feed us and take proper care of us when we are sick. It really is not about getting anyone to “process” feelings with. It isn’t even about sex, though sexuality Is an integral part of relationships.
What men Want inside a relationship, is really a rut to recharge and renew themselves to be able to return out and face the planet and “fight the great fight.” We would like a secure, secure, STRESS-FREE atmosphere where we are able to get over coping with the “rat-race” and merely relax. We would like a location where we are able to be ourselves, without having to put around the facade the world sometimes demands. We would like a location where we needn’t be on the very best behavior, where we do not have just to walk on egg shells where we do not have to pretend that we are something we are not.
We would like a location where we are able to be recognized for who we’re as well as for who we’re not! Men want consistency and routine, because it is exactly what relaxes us. “Same place, same factor” calms us lower. Yes, we love to change and excitement every so often, what we actually want within our primary relationship is really a place where we are able to attend peace, where we do not have to possess our “flight or fight” response triggered. We are activated enough within the work world, we do not want our relationship to become just like a second job!
How can this be? So why do men wish to recharge in relationships? In my opinion it is going to our early childhood development (I am a psychiatrist, obviously I am likely to visit!). Attachment theory informs us that certain stage of childhood is the fact that time where we’ve began to interrupt from mother and be more independent. We have fun with our buddies enjoy yourself, but once in a basically we have a look back and fasten to mother, maybe just eye-to-eye contact, to make certain that she’s there which things are okay. Therefore we can return to play. We want a “secure base” to produce from to be able to explore the world so when necessary we want a “safe place” to find comfort from that world.
On some level, I have faith that men still do that within our adult relationships. Not for the reason that cliche, “I have married my mother” way, but hopefully inside a old, more conscious way. We would like someone around us, to make certain it (we) are okay. We do not always need or want to have interaction together constantly, just “sign in” or “touch base.”
When I am inside a relationship, I am happy just understanding that my lady is incorporated in the house, we do not even have to talk. You will find, we all do interact too, there is however something comforting in only understanding that someone can there be.